Why you should never trust a fantasy football champion

Football is back! What does that have to do with your business and collaboration? Well, of course you can draw lessons in leadership and teamwork from the game’s legends. Maybe you’ll even be inspired to start an office fantasy football league – which, like other seemingly distracting pastimes like cat photo addiction, can inspire camaraderie and even boost productivity in the long run, despite short-term hiccups.

You may be tempted to make a case that fantasy football can teach and reinforce lessons that you can carry over to the real world. Heck, this guy even wrote a book about it. As a retired, reformed but, ahem, multi-time fantasy football champion, I’m here to say: keep an eye on the guy or gal who’s always bragging about fantasy league triumph. They’re trouble. Chances are they’re more collabohaters than collaborators.

Here’s why you should never trust a fantasy football champion:

They’re trained to value individual glory over team success

It doesn’t matter whether a team wins by 20 or loses by 40; individual statistics are mostly all that matter. The fantasy champion is the big data nerd who doesn’t see the big picture.

They hedge their bets

Your champion probably finished in the basement of three other leagues; real fantasy addicts scramble to punch as many lottery tickets as possible, setting themselves up to benefit regardless of whether Johnny Manziel soars or sinks. This would be like devising a marketing campaign, then going to another company and betting against the strategy you just developed.

They take all the credit and none of the blame

When they win, they chalk it up to skill and strategy. When they lose, they chalk it up to bad luck.

They’re not great with money

Maybe keep these folks away from the accounting department. Sure, the champ won last year, but they’re willingly (allegedly) throwing money into an endeavor that has very little chance of producing ROI.

They’re ruthless sociopaths who embrace schadenfreude

Alright, fine, maybe this one carries over to the business world (and beyond) sometimes.

Let’s be honest: they’re time-wasters

A few years ago, I may have tried to build a case for how knowing the name of every practice squad tight end in the National Football League can make someone a better marketer. It doesn’t. It’s a $14 billion drain on productivity.

With all that said, I’m still tempted to fill out a last-second draft. Good luck to everyone this season!