7 ways collaboration prepares you for the zombie apocalypse
Hopefully you’ve already taken our quiz to determine whether you’d survive a zombie apocalypse with only your colleagues as allies. If you wound up as zombie bait or a one-(wo)man army with little chance of long-term survival, you still have a chance to pry yourself from fate’s fetid claws and unforgiving jaws. Social business and collaboration tools are creating a new generation of zombie-ready survivors in the workplace. We try not to be overly dramatic about it, but every time you use iMeet Central, you’re a step closer to becoming a hero instead of an hors d’oeuvre.
Collaboration: it’s a matter of life and undeath.
Don’t panic and don’t try to be a hero; take things one task at a time
If you just get caught up with your big problems—”how are we going to raise $500M this quarter?” or “how are we going to find the root cause of this epidemic and rid the world of zombies once and for all?”—you are likely to lose your morale in a hurry. Productivity studies show that most workers will tackle tasks they know they can finish—like responding to emails—while procrastinating on more daunting but potentially more important projects. By breaking complex assignments into tasks and milestones, you give yourself a psychological break even while making yourself more accountable to your coworkers and/or fellow survivors.
Always have a contingency plan
Collaboration software lessens the impact of an employee abruptly leaving your company; it’s never easy to replace star employees’ knowledge and experience, but it’s much harder when they work in opaque pockets. Transparent work practices will make it much easier on successors. When the zombies come, incidentally, you can expect especially high turnover.
Versatility leads to victory
Everyone will have a role to play, but don’t get hung up on job titles or job descriptions. Departmental silos are tumbling. iMeet Central facilitates the sort of cross-departmental collaboration that is leading some forward-thinking agencies and companies to rethink how they put teams together. A great product idea could come from your marketing team; a great marketing idea could come from your product team. T-shaped talent will thrive in the zombie apocalypse. “I’m the medic; I’m not supposed to be repairing fences” is a surefire prelude to being crunched and munched.
Delegate or die
iMeet Central makes it easy for managers to centralize knowledge, keep tabs on project progress and manage requests and sign-offs. Whether your workplace becomes a merciless dictatorship or a benevolent democracy in the wake of the apocalypse, you’ll need someone to mind the details. It’s not as glamorous as giving a TED talk or laying waste to a pasture full of roamers, but it’s crucial for survival just the same.
One of the deadliest things to do in a zombie apocalypse is to say you did something that you actually didn’t do. “Yep, checked over there. All clear.” If you’re accustomed to audit logs—which track individual actions in the system (like viewing or downloading a shared file)—you’ll already be trained to avoid those CYA white lies.
Knowledge is power – and socialites know a lot about their coworkers
Some businesses still reject the idea of “social business” because they see it as an oxymoron. We don’t have to hit the zombie apocalypse for that to be a dangerously old-fashioned mindset. Seemingly silly social interactions can prove to be a quantifiable boon for productivity. Status updates like “SO SORE from chopping wood all weekend” and profile pics of coworkers mid-marathon could provide really handy knowledge down the road.
Send out a search party
iMeet Central’s full-index search for files and documents will… alas, not help you search for food, supplies or fellow survivors. No carryover whatsoever. Moving on…
Collabohaters are always meat shields in the end
Post-apocalyptic films and literature are strewn with heroes who learn that they can’t do it all on their own. Unfortunately, collabohaters put everyone else at risk, too. If you have a few of these surly lone wolves in your office, here are a few tips on working with them.